on YALITCHAT, Denna Holm's critique style impressed me. Here is a peek at some of her good advice.
"Ill use your first paragraph as an example to show how I go through my own text when editing. Of course, it is always easier to find awkward places in someone else’s work. After reading something in my own work over and over, I become word blind to possible mistakes. I’m sure everyone is the same.
Instead of saying, "Your opening sucks.", she says "I think you have a pretty good beginning here. The hook is not terribly exciting, but it’s not bad either."
Some advice while reading your First Pages:
** Try to think of tough sentences from your own point of view. I wonder where she would go if she could suddenly set sail...
** Would she feel as I do now, melancholy and elated all at once?
** Trying to write in first person is extremely limiting in my opinion.
** Try taking just this one chapter and rewriting in third. See if you can add more depth to the story that way. It’s all good for learning anyway, even if you decide in the end to stay with first. I know I’ve given it a try before, but in the end I decided I could get across much easier what I wanted using third person. I’m not limited with my narrator being only this one person (which can become extremely boring if we aren’t very careful. NICE PERSONAL TOUCH